Developing Self Awareness

Are you Self Aware?

"Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside, awakes." Carl Jung

I really liked this quote when I first read it. Reading it a second time made me reflect and wonder how well we actually know ourselves. We are constantly puzzled by the behavior, motives and intentions of the people around us, yet how often do we stop to peer into our inner selves. Self awareness is often taken for granted but frankly there are many of us who lack it.   Some years ago, a colleague came to me in great distress. Her manager had asked her to fill in her strengths and weaknesses in the newly introduced performance management system. She was struggling with this exercise even though she had over 12 years of experience. Her take on it was that, no manager had ever given her candid feedback regarding her strengths and weaknesses. This surprised me, but what was even more shocking was her total lack of self awareness. Anyone who knew her would say that she is very well dressed, poised and quite efficient at her job. Yet she had not risen in her career and perhaps it was her inability to understand herself which stood in the way of her career progression.   You may often find that people who are unaware of their strengths and weaknesses tend to to overestimate themselves. When you know yourself, you can leverage your strengths, compensate for your weaknesses, develop in some areas and also avid situations where you are unskilled. There are many ways in which we can build self awareness:

• Ask others for feedback. You could ask your boss, trusted peers or friends.
• If your organization has a 360 degree feedback system - where you get feedback from your boss, peers, direct reports (if any) and sometimes customers then you can analyze what your highest and lowest ratings are.
• Question yourself. Do I lack certain skills or are my weaknesses things I avoid doing, do not like or have never done before? How did my strengths develop? Why am I perceived in this manner? Reflect on your answers to these questions so that you can decide what is easy and tough to do.
• Be prepared to follow up with people and ask them what they would like you to continue doing, stop doing, start doing or doing differently. Be very specific and focus on areas of concern.
• Accept the feedback given to you. Don't argue or qualify it. Just absorb it. If you do choose to comment, be sure to give examples of the behavior being described to validate what they are saying. 
• Remember every perception is a reality. Even if it may seem unpalatable at times. If you believe that the feedback is not true, think of how you can deal with it especially if it comes from someone senior and could potentially stand in the way of your career growth. Come up with an action plan to convince people through deeds and not words. Decide how you will act in critical situations. Remember that it may take people quite some time to view you differently or change their opinion about you.
• Be readu to accept that you are imperfect like everyone else. Freely share your thoughts, doubts and opinions in your normal work conversations. This may not come easily to you so carefully observe three people who are good at admitting their mistakes and weaknesses.
• The ultimate aim of self awareness is full knowledge. So go ahead and find out your blind spots, areas in which you think you are much better than others think you are. If these blind spots are not identified and tacked they could prove to be career stallers.
• You could also try something new, fun or plain whimsical to see how well you can get at it. This could be something like dancing, juggling, playing poker, etc.
• Another option could be to attend a self awareness workshop which includes live feedback

In the end, it is self awareness which will help you to live life wholly and discover your destiny.